Entry #100

halloween was fun. dressed up as levi funger during the day, then did dionysus at night. i did levi since my best friend was doing marina and i wanted to match with him. we took a few photos and it was cool, but then his boyfriend got super jealous over it. first of all, let me clarify that if i ever wanted to date my best friend, i would have done so by now since we have been friends for almost 7 years. im not attracted to him, hes not attracted to me. now we did marilevi because his favorite character from f&h2 is marina, mine is levi. we both like the ship, but the ship is not canon. his boyfriend likes the ship too even and should be aware of all of this. but then he got mad that my best friend was matching with me, knowing that we arent attracted to each other and that our favorite characters are levi and marina. they literally broke up on halloween night over it. i honestly dont care, i never liked him to begin with. he was always so possessive over my best friend and got mad over the littlest things so easily. he literally demanded that my best friend made his instagram private so that no one could look at him, and also got mad when my best friend was showing a picture of his own hair and covered his face in the photo because he wanted his hair to be the main focus. you are so insecure and should not be in a committing relationship if you get upset over the mere thought of anyone seeing your partner on an instagram post. whatever, dont care. friend group got in a fight, again. over the same thing as last time. Friend started hanging out with one of my best friend's other friends 1 on 1, knowing hes not supposed to, and now everything is awkward. now said best friend is barely talking to me and is mainly talking to his crush and MY OTHER best friend. it hurts sometimes but oh well. finally got my atm card from a bank that i dont even want to work with anymore since itll just tax the shit out of my money. thinking about switching banks but my mom wont even help me figure out how to do it. i dont know why i expect her to do anything for me anymore, she couldnt even stop drinking for me when i begged her to. fucking useless ass family honestly. dad never here, mom so unreliable, i can barely even remember my brother's own face and we live in the same house, and i have literally no irl friends but one. just fucking kill me. i hate admitting how much my life sucks, i dont want this to be taken advantage of by people who hate me or friends who backstab me, i dont want to be vulnerable, i dont want to be dependent on something, i dont  want  any of this. i just want to be free, but it is impossible. oh well. tomorrow is another day.