(A VERY LATE) weekly reflection #4

alas, the… so-so jaden is making his grand return!

WOW i have not made a blog in a long while

sorry to keep the few people who read these things waiting, don’t know why i took so long to make this

guess i’ll have to recap OVER a week now

lets see where to start

okay so

i’ve been making more of an effort to make friends irl

i made a couple 

theres this guy jeremy and this girl vicky who i really like

i might join a club

i NEED more friends man

i love my online friends but not having company irl is gonna kill me, especially cause of stuff going on with my electronics 

ive also been put on a schedule with my laptop and maybe(???) my phone

i understand why my laptop because admittedly i do spend too much time on it

but i really get the same amount of work done with or without it now, since im actually putting in an effort

though, maybe thats not what my mom was trying to accomplish? im not sure

all i know is im gonna keep trying to improve myself, little by little, everyday

for my friends, my family, and myself

i love my friends

i love my family

i love everyone

i have so much love for anyone but myself

oh i also started talking to ace again

i missed him a lot

my brother

i’d like to actually be able to hangout with him soon but again its been awkward with my laptop

and im also supposed to be busy this weekend at a sleepover

ahhh

okay lets see what else

oh halloween

thats tomorrow

last year i went with my old friend group

it was fun

i miss the experiences i had with them, but i still know this is all for the better

i surrounded myself with negative influences

looking back on it now, my heart focuses only on the fun i had, yet not the mental drain and the negative effect it had on how i acted

i… was honestly quite an evil person

i did so many things i regret 

looking back on me a year ago is like looking at a whole different person, yet that is a person thats still familiar to me; who’s still apart of me; no matter how much effort i put into changing

that part of me will always be here, so maybe i should accept it

i hope at least one of my old friends has had the same realization as me and is trying to improve

i miss richerd

i never thought i’d stop being friends with him

though, that’s life. unexpected things happen all the time

i dont blame him if he doesn’t miss me, or any of my old friends for that people

i wouldnt miss the old me

the much more selfish, narcissistic, apathetic, rude me

regretfully i still had some romantic feelings for richerd, even after we broke up 

even when i was dating vix

holy

why am i so gay

I DONT LIKE BOYS!!

anyways, i just got my halloween costume NOW

i got a plague doctor outfit ^_^!!

im gonna look so tuff

maybe next halloween i’ll have a bunch of friends to go with

or atleast one good one

do i have anything else to say?

oh right brook asked me to do this

WAHHHH I MISS BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH BROOKK I AM SOOOO SAD I AM SUCH A SAD LITTLE P**SBOY I MISS BROOK I NEED TO BE BESTIES WITH HER AGAIN IM SUCH A SAD LITTLE BOY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺