Daydreaming

I like daydreaming. I know I'm not supposed to but it's the only thing I have that makes me slightly happy. In my daydreams, I'm special. I'm somebody else. I'm beautiful, powerful, loved, cherished, etc. Everything that I'm not here in this reality. It's also the reason I can't get my life together. I really want a different life than the one I'm living right now. Part of me still believes that I can do it. The other part of me is saying that I'm mentally ill and none of it is real. At least I'm somewhat self-aware. I would like for it to be real so I can start "living".