Streamed Thoughts for 28 October 2025

[Connection found.]

often, i've been offering myself dreadful thoughts about my inadequacies, about my unhappiness. although, it is weird(?) that even i don't fully subscribe to such melancholy. i am all that i have. every day is affirming that i still want to live even though i don't think i should or am allowed to be. because i can live, i will. if i die, i die.

i often fear what may be when the current lifestyle—current structure—that i live collapses. why is it so shameful to dream of something good? why do we always fear losing what we have now? what am i worth by myself?

i think about dying so much it's almost as if i want it...

[Connection lost.]

28 October 2025 (11:46 PM)