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I don't like myself. I despise myself. I feel so unworthy being alive. I'm slower than my peers but I pretend that I can catch up just fine. Idk if anyone I know irl is aware of that, even my parents. My parents, I love them. They deserve a better child than me. I'm so sorry I couldn't tried harder, I really should've try better to be more of what you want me to be. From my ugly penmanship to the way my mind works. I feel ashamed of being enrolled to such prestigious schools since elementary yet I haven't shown that this schools actually gave me education. All I can show is how I can perceive and treat people. I wanna learn, I just don't know why its so hard for me to learn when my friends can just easily grasp what the teachers are teaching us. Is there something wrong with me??? Do I need to be taught one on one or I am just really stupid...I can't take this anymore, I wanna dissappear. I don't deserve the smiles and the kindness people have given to me. I don't deserve anything.
I'm so sorry I just wanted to let it out.
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moistman
I know how you feel. I've been there myself couple years ago. I was behind on everything, assignments piled up, lectures got confusing to the point of headaches, my parents being more in work than at home. I've been there. The deep pit that feels like hell and the whole world mocking you.
I'll tell you this from my experience. I've 'attempted' at the time. And looking back at it, it was stupid. Life is so much more than academics. Don'y worry about anything. I promise you, life will sort itself out and everything will be okay. It wouldn't be a terrible idea to talk to your parents, or a guidance counselor about it. I'm sure there's a solution to anything if you talk to someone.
But if you really need to vent out to someone who won't judge, my dms are always open.
You're not alone in this. Your friends and family love you and people are always willing to help. <3
Stay safe