late night poem

heheheghegh
giggles the could be woman 
to himself at night
unasleep unable
unsettled onset craze
tired tries to try then tried then tired
only not "then" but "as"
linearization time nonexistent nonnonexistent 
nonbinary
no two ways about it
yes infinite ways about it
not which way-
not how or why or what
i guess no question, then.
meanwhile,
she sees others
she sees himself seeing others 
she sees others seeing him
she sees herself seeing them seeing him
ah what a familiar struggle,
she giggles
shorted by the cold face of absurdity?
thoughts and spirals severed instantly by the soundness of acceptance?
jumping to the conclusions from the 32nd floor?
no ghost of camus to save her from that fall
in fact i think he pushed her off