attachments

O how attachments pester me!

just been a while since we met, I'm already attached, fixated. it feels so good and nice and all that, but also terrible! awful terrible. everytime your status blinks grey, it's like something gnawing in my heart, it pains me that I can't force your consciousness digital forever—But I am no irrational person, I refuse to be dictated by mere obsessions, it's stupid. But unfortunately, God had to make me grovel to biology so I can't exactly tear apart this fixation.  

When I say I feel disappointed when there's no trace of you, I absolutely mean it/./ My ears perk up at notifications, hoping to the gods it's you, but no. nothing from you, not a single atom, it's heavily disappointing and frustrating, that false hope reminds me of the hollow feeling in me when I can't talk to you.

Sometimes it feels like the thing filling that said feeling up is replaying your words, listening to it, reading it.. Engraving every single sentence you say into my brain to the point tears well in my eyes due to me staring at the screen for so long. 

Every minute of the day, I go to the window, seeing if the pigeon has any messages they sent for me. It's embarrassing how I get so disappointed seeing no paper and ink. Even a word would keep me alive.

I wonder what you are, I wonder how you are. Sincerely, I'm glad I've met you! I felt almost alive again, you're an aspect of something I've been craving for so long. you seek to turn the dull into stories that could be told in history books—I find it so endearing, cute, even. I admire the passion you have in your words, the way you strive for a story to be told. I appreciate your thinking. 

I could genuinely admire that part of you. You feel exactly like me. Do know how much I love it.

You're a gem, truly. would I be able to meet someone like you? probably not! you come to me the same way I come to you, that's refreshing. You're imaginative, fervid, interesting. Even your excessive fire. Sometimes I'm concerned that you don't see how people may perceive you as foolish.

you're funny too, very entertaining.

sometimes I wonder if you know how much I adore your character.

..I still stand by it, even after the topic redirection.

I hope they spare mercy upon you, so tomorrow I can wake up with you running to me, excited about our next meeting.

After all, I think your words, even with a fire too ablazed, coild catch your eyes.