im not special anymore

i dont know what to do so im crying again. i started living in my living room so now i feel even more exposed. i started with a new therapist but i wont be seeing her again for two weeks so this is all i have. im just really tired of feeling like nobody. i used to be really smart, and it was kind of the only thing i had going for me. i liked drawing, but i wasnt good at it, but i could at least feel good about getting good grades. ever since covid my grades have been going down though. im a sophomore right now, and im only passing 2 or three classes. im getting better with the others, but its still awful to see. everyone else is so good at school, and they still have time to be good at their hobbies. my best friend is one of the best artists i know, and hes doing perfect in all of his classes. i dont know how i can feel okay like this. all i can think about is how much of a failure i am. i want to be special again. i want my mom to like me again. i cant think of anything else to say so i guess ill stop here