Just that sort of day

I could write about my whole day, about the fall preview, about having to decide, everything I am facing. I am facing all these massive decisions and I am having a hard time with it, but simultaneously there is this pervasive awareness that it really does not matter very much. It matters so very little. What I do with my life, whether I do what I love, whether I quit this, or sacrifice that, it really matter very little. As aware as I am about this I still feel wretched about making these small massive decisions that will shape my life. 

I could write about the student that talked to me about the program. 

Or about the way the humanities recruitment person made a slip in her speech

Or the fact that they did not use an oxford comma

 Or about how a direct object actually indicates direction "ad" and how we lost this in English

Or about suddenly not having words when I was talking to someone

Or about despising someone 

Or about what it means to have the same goals as someone. 

Or about deceit

Or lethargy 

Or love

Or tomorrow

Or the next day

Or.... 

But I will not...

I am eating frozen strawberries. They are a little defrosted and slightly sticky, listening to (towards) the smiths, I write on this blog. The strawberries stick to my fingers and slightly to the keyboard. I pick up one and it is a little bad, worse than the others. Put it back down but I picked it up again and I finish it. The cold on my teeth and the little dead seeds crunching in my teeth and the sweetness on my teeth and my teeth. Little white cones on plants, reddened by the sun. Blushing to be alive, blushing to have been conceived, blushing to be such low hanging fruit. Preserved and condensed by the cold.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE A COMMUNIST IN CANADA:

1: communists have a better sense of style

2: you get a family

3: you learn how to share

4: if you are a canadian communist, nothing bad can come of it, only social credit.

5: the poster said so

6: you want to think you are a minority and you saw an inspirational quote attributed to Marx

etc...

Si no pasa nada en tu vida no deberias tratar de encontrar algo. En lugar de eso, deberias tratar de descansar asta que la vida te de otro bofeton. Aste que la vida te cage de nuevo. Asta que te tiren para abajo o te digan que tenes que desperarte.