You ruin everything don't you

It's been a month since I've done a lil blog or vent /rant , I still find a way to ruin everything either being with someone who genuinely wanted to try with me or just in general. I mess up hella with mes where I don't even think I could patch that at all we couldn't even try n be friends again , hope he knows I still support his music though regardless. I've told him I'm sorry but he can't even seem to forgive himself. Everything else I seem to mess up yet it's the same thing daily but almost like I get worse daily if that makes sense, so much to where I'm close to getting fired at work I got one mess up and I'm out. At least I'm doing better in drawing again I think ? Shi I don't know . Nother thing I missed up was w a guy too I don't think that's my fault though he just genuinely don't like white women n have said sumn Abt "race mixing " before had to look at that post then keep scrolling ☠️ lk funny asl tho, but I fell as if I messed up cause I made him uncomfortable I mean regardless I'ma make bro uncomfortable though I guess since my skin tone lil weird but you do you buddy I guess. 

Good new though I make 1 grand every two weeks and the money I got from my let's just say "stuff" won't persay is decent pay now , enough to pay my phone bill for two months :)