october came and went

machines pump out smoke and factories seep poison into our roots. i dream of you and me behind a picket fence. i dream of a world that no longer exists. i cradle my hurt and it keeps me tethered to the present. i let my inhibitions go because they stole the future i was promised. i panic in the smoke because i remember. i drown in the bottle to forget. i hide in your arms to avoid the inevitable. the version of me that longed is gone. there is no space for hope in a life ruled by death.