the mind forgets the body remembers. for just a little while rmeember it.

18日10月25年

not necessarily always in a bad way.

a few weeks ago was drinking warm water from a water bottle,,

reminded me of the pills i used 2 take, like the water from the same colourful plastic tupperware cups my grandma always had on hand, reminded me of how water would come out of the tap warm when the days were a little too hot during the school summer holidays.

i've been trying to paint with acrylics more and observed that one of my paint brushes started to fray. i should stop buying the cheap brushes for a dollar that wilt under the slightest cleaning.

went to the stationery shop at the small age of 6 or 7 to get paints for a project and remembered i felt a certain type of shock i'd never thought of before when i was told paintbrushes were made out of horse hair.

I can't remember much, sometimes I say things and I can see it but I never remember exactly is said to me  but I remember

what I felt at that moment.

I don't really remember what that person told me but i remember it was nice and that i felt happy for the rest of the day

can't really remember what i said or did but i remember it was bad and i felt bad afterwards.

can't remember what anyone said to me, or if they even did,

remember that deep feeling of, "something is wrong with me," "what am i doing,"

when being looked at as if i were some sort of animal that had killed someone

in the shower i smelt something almost strangely chemical, like air,

reminded me of the smell of that plastic mask , breathing in cool pressured gas.

I can remember that her hands were soft when she held mine and told me everything was going to be okay

can't remember her name or face just remember that she sat with me and cried. when no one else did for a long time I felt stale and frozen.

"i don't know who you are but you are everything to me,"

"i can't remember what you are but you are a scar on my life"

"your words poke at me still when you're gone."

"you were only there for a moment but it felt like forever"

"when i lay my head on the cold plastic floor it reminds me of you"

"i remember you when you were there and now you're not but it still feels like you are"

I want to keep writing things. 

It may not be everyone's cup of tea,

but it's mine and I like it.

That's all for now.

Bye bye <3