Entry #038 - Pre-Birthday Ponderings

Well, my last entry took place in July. It's October now and much has happened. 

► My family and I scraped together funds to buy a house. We bought a whole ass house. We're homeowners in equal parts. I have... a brand-new sense of stability, and it hasn't sunk in yet. We moved in 2 months ago and it still hasn't fully processed in my overworked brain.

► During the move-in, my family and I tried to do what we thought was right in regard to a "friend" of mine who is chronically homeless and unemployed. Mind you, she is almost 40 years old and has never held down a real job and she has no friends. We attempted to put a roof over her head to help her get on her feet. That backfired IMMEDIATELY, and it took a lot of restraint to not throw her out on the street or get law enforcement involved. What a fucking month-long nightmare that was! I could write a novel on how insufferable that person was to deal with... Maybe I'll share that story another time. 

► We found an abandoned stray kitten underneath the old rental house when we had stopped by to do some last-minute cleaning. It was a total miracle that the baby animal was even alive when we found him with no mother or siblings around. He was merely 3 weeks old and the size of a malnourished rat. We bottle fed him (as instructed by the local veterinarian) and he's doing great now! His name is Junior.

► I did finally end up switching to my preferred department at work, and my mental + physical health has vastly improved as a result. It's all coming together, baby.

► Sometime last summer I started seeing a therapist and it has been going mostly well. She's quite lovely, but I'm beginning to realize that she may not be a great match for me—I don't think she's fully equipped to help me unpack and deal with my specific set of traumas and afflictions. But I've never requested a replacement therapist before, so idk if that's even an option right now.

► I got a new primary care doctor and he is phenomenal. We've adjusted my medications and I'm already feeling a tremendous difference in my wellbeing.

► I did not keep up with my art goals, but I've been doing a lot of DIY home projects, and I've painted a lot of interior walls throughout the past month. I love having the option to customize my living space. Seriously, I painted my bedroom walls + ceiling BLACK AND GOLD, and it looks incredible. I am so pleased with the outcome.

► I've been making an effort to spend quality time with my friends. More specifically, I've become very selective about the types of people I choose to associate with and spend time around. I've made friends with a lot of... unpleasant people throughout the course of my adult life. It's uncomfortable to remove people from my life, one by one, but it's completely worth the discomfort. I feel peaceful these days, and I don't miss the dramatic company. 

► That last one may have something to do with my age. I'm turning 29 next week, which feels like a warmup to being in my thirties. I'm trying to get my shit together and level up. I'm actually putting in the work. It's yielding positive results. I'm looking forward to meeting my goals for 2026—I have genuine optimism about the upcoming year.

► Side Quest note: an old acquaintance contacted me, stating that she ran into my ex-husband at his current workplace. He told my friend that he "knows he messed up" and that he misses me, apparently. It never stops feeling gross whenever I am reminded of his existence. Frankly, I don't think he misses me. He probably misses having somebody take care of him like a personal servant because he's too lazy, stupid, and incompetent to take care of himself correctly. Meanwhile I'm gleefully divorced with three cats and a mortgage and a 401K. Suck it, Jacob. Fuckin' loser.

► On that note, I can feel my THC edible kicking in, so I'd better wrap this up.