Transition stuff

HRT dreams

I long for the day that I will turn 18, this year I'll be 17,, but next year I'll legally gain the right to be myself. I can't wait to inject the first dose of testosterone into myself, and later down the line the feeling of my flat chest when I get to wear a band tee shirt to bed without having to see eee my boobs or risk damaging my ribs by wearing a binder in order to avoid dysphoria.

How I think this could possibly impact my romantic orientation 

Okay so like, atm I identify as an agender lesbian, because I have no doubt that I love girls oh so much. But my feelings towards boys are kinda... well they are complicated.  When I think of doing intimate things with a girl I like the thought, but when I think of doing that with a guy I just feel physically and emotionally disgusted.  But fsr  I have a feeling that if I was outwardly undeniably gender nonconforming and I couldn't necessarily easily be placed in a gendered box based on who I was with that maybe theres a small chance I'd like boys. But I think I'd have to be way deep into my transition for that. I always feel so envious of luke from starcatcher.  Legitly he is kinda like the best way I could describe my gender, cuz it's like look and sound like boy but kinda look like girl at same time and like be cute.  Like high key that is my goals!