mountain range mood

my life currently feels like an insane mountain range

maybe like the sierra madre, where i have like the most insane peaks but also the worst lows ever

and there are spots where you cant figure out if youre more at the peak or more in hell

but lowkey i really am thankful that i got to like

experience this and everything

im still totally stressed but i think im managing it better

i also talked about grade 7 in the gc, and its crazy to think while in grade 7 i already had this account sooo that like really warped my perspective of time

because what do you mean this blog has seen nearly all sides and facets of me (i dont think it would see all, maybe when i grow up even more and go pat college i wont touch this blog anymore)

like ive had this sinice i was ELEMENTARY

IM ENTERING SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL NEXT YEAR

and lowkey

im still so immature considering my age and multiple positions that i hold

i swear my old self was much more mature and disciplined, even with something as simple as food. i feel like a caterpillar who went into a cocoon for so long, but when emerged, was regarded as a monarch butterfly though it was still a caterpillar; still rolling and crawling on the ground

i feel like ive 

devolved?
in some way, basta one way or another the perfect clear diamond i was got beaten up and became foggy and nicked all over

also lastly

sometimes i wish this blog would stay up forever on the internet

but i know it would probably get deleted when spacehey gets inevitably deleted

but would the soul of my words still live in the net

a limb of a bug still stuck in the web, maybe with tons (or maybe minimal) coding to unearth this

if someone gets to read this in the future (which i think is REALLLYYYY unlikely)
do you think im still immature for my age

considering

everything that has happened in my life, you saw it anyways

also i used this account as like a musume rokuda roleplay account so my words were like litch xx totes etc to keep up

but i did start using this blog for personal reasons

im so

i wonder if parts of my soul, even miniscule are etched into everything i create, kinda like a horcrux in harry potter hahahha

or are these just a nonsense jumble of words that don't hold the weight of something

this is literally just a random thought dump again HHAHAHAH

i wonder how small this moment of writing the blog was in all the time the universe has, has been, and will have existed