december 22nd

its been a really hard two weeks. i got rejected from my dream school (again) (i literally took a gap year to see if they would reconsider), i was rejected from a really cool show that i auditioned for and i was really excited for it cause they even gave me a callback, my dog was put down, and ive been exhausted for so long its hard to remember what its like to have energy. life is a lot. its hard. and i eat healthy and sleep regularly and take care of myself and read and write and i guess the point of this is that im doing everything im supposed to be doing and for some reason the universe doesnt care. its so discouraging and i have a lot of days where it feels like too much.

the good news is that im gonna tell the boy that i like him. well, i wrote a letter to give to him that explains everything  which is so cringe but its the best i can do. 

also im kinda becoming a tiktok trend?? wtf??? like its my voice that people are using for senior year montages which is weird cause i had the worst senior year but whatever, kinda silly

im focusing on the things i can control, and taking it one day at a time

<3 mary