Mama

Mama,

When my lights go out,

will you come find me, 

Will you reach into the dark I hide,

the way I reach for you, arms open wide?

If I stay quiet, if I can’t speak,

will you still find the parts of me weak?

Will you hold me before I fall apart,

even if I’m shaking, even in the dark?

I’ve always stretched my hands to you,

even when you never reached through.

But I’m still hoping, still trying to see,

if maybe tonight, you’ll come for me.

When the silence presses against my chest,

and the night refuses to let me rest,

will you come searching, even slow,

even if it takes forever, even if you don’t know?

I remember the nights I whispered alone,

thinking maybe you’d hear through the phone.

I needed you then, I need you now,

and I don’t know if I can teach you how.

So if my lights go dim and fade,

don’t leave me stuck in the lonely shade.

Reach for me, Mama, like I reach for you,

through the dark, through the fear, through all I go through.

I’ll keep my hands open, even if sore,

even if they’ve bled from reaching before.

I’ll keep hoping, even if it hurts,

even if your love feels lost in the dirt.

Because I’ve learned to survive the nights alone,

but I still want you, I still want home.

Even if it’s late, even if it’s wrong,

I’m still singing my reach in this quiet song.

Mama, when my lights go out,

will you come find me, no doubt?

Or will I keep calling into the air,

hands stretched for something that’s never there?

Why did you bring me into this world,

knowing you’d never care for me anyway,

to leave me unloved,

and yet I keep reaching back,

hands open, empty, hoping for something

that will never come?

-dmnd