un-eventful update lolllll

mkay. so. my life has been so....underwhelming??? overwhelming???? i got into contact with my mom after two years, but my stepmom despises this whole thing. shes mad at how absent my mom has been but...idk how to feel. also my stepmom is so easily irritable lately, i think me and her both are in a rut of depression (not that mine ever went away haha.)

also im still feeling so alone. ive tried to make online friends but its usually creepy old men...i even downloaded discord and it hasnt worked...am i that boring? all i want is someone to talk to, i feel more alone than ever. also doesnt help that i cant trust anyone in my real life due to my fear of it being reported back to my stepmom somehow...

also i relapsed. also not sure how to feel about that. im in such a off stage in life..no one is willing to date me, none of my friends even speak to me, and it feels like im constantly walking on eggshells with everyone...oh well i guess????