Tastes Like Rust

Shouldn’t I give up?

Shouldn’t I try?

I tell myself that on repeat,

but the words taste like rust.

I dress my hurt up in excuses,

justify the mess I made,

say it’s just loneliness

like loneliness could explain

why my heart keeps breaking

in the same damn place.

And still

I don’t wanna think these thoughts tonight.

I’ve waited all day to say nothing,

to fall apart quietly.

Don’t cry,

don’t lie,

don’t sigh,

don’t mind,

don’t start.

It’s easier to stay silent.

But the names are still crossed out,

the games still sting,

and the stains

God, the stains never wash out.

They live here,

etched into me,

every mark a reminder

that I’m still trying to carry

what I can’t put down.

-dmnd