Report Blog Entry
Okay so for context, I was kinda conflicted so I put this on Reddit during class and some people were saying I came off as homophobic or were being like 'it was confomration bias !" anyways
I titled it "
I love the gays but why do they keep touching my hair??
"
so like here's what I wrote
Just to start this off, I am NOT homophobic in any way shape or form, majority of my friends are apart of the community. Moving on, As much as I don't have lgbt people or anything like that, I do dislike how they have a tendancy to touch my hair without consent. More so guys than girls (In my experience.) I've never had one of my straight friends even consider touching my hair without consent. While it's a bit uncomfortable I don't get outwardly upset at my friends. HOWEVER, what I personally find odd is how someone I only really speak to for a few minutes in class (a guy but he's gay obviously) js grabbed my hairtoday?? He let it go pretty quickly but I was walking with a friend and he js came up and grabbed our hair??? Now I'll have to do an everything shower. I tend to take care of my hair to keep it from getting dirty and don't shampoo much except the top that oftehn but when someone touches it I have to shampoo it and it makes my hair really bad. I just don't get it?? This isn't even in a homophobic way, it's just a pattern I've noticed.
That's it. apparently clarifying that I'm not homophobic is homophobic?? I just don't wanna come across like my mother. She frequently purposefully misgenders my trans friends and calls my bi/lesbian friends confused. Oh but weirdly enough she's okay w/ gay guys?? I wish she was fine with all lgbt people. Like take my best friend for example, she's aroace and that's great! But my mom's always like 'you just haven't found the right one yet' NO. Let my BFF live her happy single life in peace. When it come's to my lgbt friends I tend to let a little more slide since ik a lot of them have a hard time bc homophobia exist but being touched makes me uncomfy yk? besides my BFF but I've known her since kinder. Anyways I can't really set boundaries either bc like last time I did that with my friends they just did the thing I asked them not to do more? Also one person was like 'oh conformation bias' uh nuh uh. I didn't really have a bias. Or much of an opinon on the lgbt as a whole besies 'goodness homophobia must suck, I hope they have supportive people in their lives.' I don't really have much of an opinion of people in general actually. I do NOT have underlying thoughts like that? I just thought abt it today bc I had my hair touched w/o consent for the millionth time. And then I began reflecting upon each time someone's touched my hair and looked for commonalities, gender? No. Race? No. Age? No. Hair texture? No. Food preferances? No. And found the only commonality was that they were all LGBT?? I was kinda confused so I made that post partly to see if it was js a normal thing for LGBT members of society or if the people at my school were JS weird..
What do you guys think?
Comments
Displaying 4 of 4 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
Rotkappchen
No it's not... it's just a pattern you noticed, people need to stop being so soft about everything fr.
I agree because it is a valid observation but it has to do more with certain personality traits (Maybe just say 'some' instead of 'all')
Tyy ^^
I js put all bc it was all LGBT ppl touching my hair but I didn't mean to imply that *all* LGBT people were like that T^T
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
✧ ᵣᵢₙ ⋆
I (as a queer) do like peoples hair, but i dont touch them without their consent. Maybe tell the people to ask/stop if you havent already.
I see :o
I'm kind of scared to though. People at my school have a track record for doing whatever it is I tell them not to do more anytime I try to set a boundary....
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
John Ono Lennon
as a queer person, I think the issue is that you looked for the commonality between the people who touched your hair, so it sounds like you're saying "all queer people touch people's hair without consent/can't respect boundaries", which is homophobic because it isn't all queer people who do that, they just happened to be queer. and that doesn't mean *you're* homophobic, but that's something to reflect on. also, your friends sound pretty shitty if they don't respect your boundaries (I've dealt with a similar thing), and I hope you can find a way to talk to them about it or get out of that situation
Ah I see, ty! I didn't mean to imply that all queer people were like that T^T
I know some that respect my boundaries really well and have NEVER touched me w/o consent but it js so happened to be what I found?? But also ty!! I really appreciate your input! Iw as feeling kinda down since I really don't wanna seem homophobic ever but people on this platform seem to be really nice! Also I hope so as well. I'm kinda scared of confronting my friends bc they like to confront me more and I break down easily at confrontation. Recently they added me to a discord GC and js let it rip on me. (we're irl friends btw) telling me to drop so and so, calling me childish and immature, telling me I was being rude to a friend by commenting on her appearance (I'd tell her when her shirt was unbuttoned. idk Abt you but I would hate to have my outfit like...sloppy/expose stuff unintentionally and have no one tell e) to make her feel bad and not like really know them. I listed a whole bunch of things abt them and they were JS like 'thats not it' even tho I wrote like a mini essay abt them? They're scary to confront imo...not all of them but yeah..
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
oh man they sound *really* shitty. I don't wanna overstep because obviously I don't know the whole situation, but it might be worth looking for new friends, because I promise there are much nicer people out there (and if you find better people, you might be able to like slowly start hanging out with them more if you're worried about immediately dropping the other group, that is if you want to leave them)
by John Ono Lennon; ; Report
Meččypartizan
Definitely not homophobic.
Redditors are terminally online netizen retards that think that if you're white, cis, hetero or christian you're automatically homophobic. Never ask for the opinion of Redditors.
:o
Okay tyy ^*^
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
Nothing wrong with not wanting someone to touch your hair, no matter their sexuality or identity. People get called all kinds of -phobes just for stating factual information.
by Meččypartizan; ; Report
I'm kinda sensitive so this really helped ! Ty ^^
I didn't realize people did that :o
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
No problem. Some people online just need to get a life. I get called transphobic, homophobic, xenophobic and russophobic all the time.
by Meččypartizan; ; Report
What even are those last two..?
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
What even are those last two..?
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
xenophobia is the hatred of foreigners / immigrants, russophobia is the hatred of russian people
by Meččypartizan; ; Report
so just racism?? like on this website or other ones? :0
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
here and twitter. although i disagree with being russophobic (i do not fear russians ans my hatred is not irrational) i am instead russomisic
by Meččypartizan; ; Report
...and what is that?
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
russomisia means hatred of russia
my ideology is eternal hatred towards russia
by Meččypartizan; ; Report
Oh! Why's that?
by Strawberry <3; ; Report
they have a long history of genocide against my nation and other nations
by Meččypartizan; ; Report