Things that are important to me, as a person, living as I am,
are:
Financial Stability
I want to be able to support myself and my family.
I want to be able to have enough money to live comfortably and to achieve my goals.
With that, the ability to support my own education, no debt, no strings attached.
Self-sufficiency
I want to be able to take care of myself.
I want to be able to carry myself in good health, to be able to survive, make decisions for myself, to be able to carry myself financially and mentally.
Freedom
I want to be able to express myself freely without fear, and be as I am without fearing punishment for simply existing out of the norm. I want to be able to live truly, for myself, not purely to please the people around me.
These things sound simple, but it's something I worry about a lot.
I'm someone with an unfortunately lower level of education for my age, and I had to drop out of the school I was in because of my illness.
I never received a run-down on how things worked, what alternatives were available for me, or how I could pursue my education again, I was simply told that it was no longer mandatory for me to receive schooling and was left to make decisions I had no basis nor reference for.
During the time I was sick, I really did want to learn, but was told that I should lay off of it until I got better. It took me near 5 years to even get close to, "better."
The thing is, I'm smart. I entered an invite-only school, and was planning to aim for a scholarship to an international school. I didn't get it, though, and my grades were depleting too due to the stress and pain caused by the symptoms I experienced.
I actually love learning, but it comes difficult to me sometimes because I just don't know where to start without a guide.
It's taken a while for me to start doing classes again, and I'm still trying to figure out how I can study on my own in my free time.
I'm extremely grateful to have been born in a family with a stable income, because if I hadn't, I'd simply have zero options available for me but to quit formal education altogether and try finding a job, or to study on my own and attempt to apply for examinations, and even then both would be very difficult things to pursue, especially if you have no one there to support you.
I was thrown off of the path I wanted to take, and put into a slightly more difficult situation, but what I can do now, is:
continue doing my art, and sharing it when I can
i think art is an important outlet for me, and a great way to send a message. It's also a possible way of income, and an incredible way to find like-minded peers. I've seen and gotten so much advice and support from my local art communities, and it's generally just a great way for people to lift each other up whether it just be a small show of support, a compliment, or for hope, for something to look forward to. The future just seems less bleak when I see fellow artists thriving, and I hope one day I can be like that too.
participating in the communities i want to support,
this is not something i can always do, but I try to do when I can. I'm not usually able to join volunteering programs which have requirements I don't meet, but when I do come across something I'm able to do I enjoy joining in. It's something I do love doing and want to do more of, and it's a really nice way to get to know the people who live around you while doing something good for a cause you support. It's also really great to get out of the house and to be able to just Do Something for once when your daily routine gets all same-ey and dreadful. It might also look good in a resume or job interview, some groups or organizations might provide you with an e-certificate for participation.
educating myself, building skills, knowledge and connections
this is just life in general tbh. i have a lot of time, and i don't exactly use it as "efficiently'' as I want to. That's okay though, because as of now most of my energy is put towards surviving. I do have times where I have more energy to do things like studying, joining art/sketch meetups, writing and research just for myself and for fun.
and of course, most importantly, taking care of myself and looking out for my health. To really maximize my abilities, I want to focus on looking after my health physically and mentally, since the two are so interlinked. Whenever I get sick even just slightly, it messes with my ability to perform day to day tasks, and anything more starts feeling impossible.
I ensure I get enough sleep, food, exercise and feel enriched, spending time with books, baking, sunshine, scrap-booking and the like, and only then will I be able to do properly do things like studying and planning for my future.
One of my goals, currently, is learning to take phone calls, because I don't want to miss any calls from the bank. I usually don't answer phone calls from numbers i don't recognize, so i never really answer any of the calls I get.
That is one of my goals that I am gonna write down I think.
Also I ate packaged latiao recently, from a supermarket near me,, and it's pretty darn good. I have enough snacks to live happily i think. i have a stash but i don't really take things out until I'm finished with what I have in the fridge currently.
nowadays after lunch (brunch ?) breakfast-lunch fusion,,, I like just having a snack, and some drink. Sometimes it's yoghurt, sometimes it's soy milk.
I have two animal crackers usually. usually some crackers, and some form of fruit or whatever healthier thing there is, because I don't often eat fruit and want to have it in my diet more.
okay that's all for now I hope everyone has a lovely amazing whateverr time it is for you <3
i hope other people can feel too, that they are capable and will get through it all!
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