Crowded Room

Loud, bustling laughter and music filling the air. I stand still, not a soul noticing me, I don't exist. How can one feel so alone when surrounded by nothing but people?

Nothing feels real as I walk in circles around the dance floor, no one is "my person" I don't even feel like I'm in "my body". I walk past groups of close friends, all lauging, blissful.. ignorant.. I am a ghost that haunts those around me.

Would anyone look for me in a crowded rom? No. Why do I waste my breath trying to talk? No one notices anyway. if I disappear, would anyone, even my parents, notice..?

I fall deeper and deeper as my thoughts eat away my very being. Ive got everything I need, so why is it that I want to fall into the big blue and never swim back to the surface?

Maybe I'm the reason I'm alone, not anyone elses fault, all my fault. After all, who would want to be associated with a loud, angry, sad, quiet being. I can't even pick one emotion to feel, why would anyone pick me? My emotions a whirlwind of always something different. Why am I even here?

What if I simply took a step back, looked one last look, and said " Goodbye". What if, this isn't a what if, but reality.