💜 | Sexuality

It's not that I'm confused. I know it's always been there since elementary school. It's just hard to acknowledge it due to religious beliefs and upbringing. Don't hate me for this. I believe that love is love and find it unfair as to why people are being hated or punished in a way for simply choosing someone who treats them way better than anyone else and is actually good for them? I have to accept the fact that it's going to be something that I'll never understand.

I've been attracted to girls since elementary school. Sure, I find some just pretty but it's different to others who are my type in terms of personality and especially intelligence. I did technically had a girlfriend before around 2018. My relationship with that person went great but it had to end because they started to influence me in a bad way. Still, despite all that, it never stopped.

I've dated several men and all of them are still very much disappointing 'til this day. Not everyone, but most that I've been with. All of them were also good at first until they weren't. I think women just really hit different for me and it makes so much more sense to be with a woman and I'm thinking of a specific individual in mind as I'm typing this down.

I don't know how to handle this. I'm not sure if it's appropriate for me to label myself as bisexual. I might be. I just have to acknowledge it. I'm just preparing myself for it that's why I haven't. It's not because I'm homophobic or anything. That'll be so fucked up. I'm still on the path of discovering my sexuality and I'm so grateful to have 🍒 with me to walk me through this because it's such a vulnerable phase in my life right now.

It's important to surround myself with people who can help and educate me on this one which I do have. I'm so thankful for it. I know that I'll be able to figure this one out real soon because of an individual I want to talk about even more. They're very special to me and I love them so much.