desires

I had so many wishes for life, i mean, i wanted to be an artist, some times i wanted to be a streamer, blogger, i think i would like to share my life (more or less) or more like, showing my likes to get to know other people that like the same things

I didn't know exacly what i wanted for my life, but i knew i wanted to do what i like every day, share what i like

maybe i get that bc i always wanted to find a streamer of things i like, a blog of things i like, a real online comunity that i could talk to like, anytime

i didn't want attention, i think

but anyway, if i really want to have a blog or stream channel, i'll have to wait, even more cuz now i don't have free time and/or stability, and i won't get to do what i like for collage or work, cuz, yk, capitalism won't let anyone live their life happy and stable

i also wanted to have more time to write my storys, to get all my memories back, to write poety, to study kawaii culture, to study literature, history, biology, politics, i wanted to play violin, wanted to get better art skills and practice

i can only blam capitalism and this damn dimension transition. if i were in my body, in my life, in my world, would be so much easier

and if i didn't have to fear dying of hunger bc the riches explore absolutely everyone and everyone has to choose their carrer based on what pays better

then, i could live the life i wanted, do the things i wanted, enjoy the little things of life, but w all this mess, this chaos and this insignificant suffering, life doesn't seem so poetic and pleasuring anymore.