Becoming a better person

There is a lot of growing up I need to do. Especially with my move to university. 

I was never the cleanest person. Don't get me wrong, I do shower. This is a matter of being a tidy person and having motivation and drive. Motivation to keep up with task, and the drive to follow what I preach. If I were to describe my room, I would call it an organised mess. Clothes are lying around everywhere, I have containers here that need to go into the kitchen, and my table is a hot mess in on itself. 

Once I move, I need to do a 180-degree switch. My roommate seems like such a clean person; it scares me a bit. It is not the fact that she wants the flat clean that scares me; rather, it is that I don't know if I can keep up with that. Keep up with her demand to clean every day. 

But I will try my hardest ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

I am not a quitter, and maybe the scene change will bring out my inner desire to be very tidy. 

I just need to stop being so lazy sometimes and really work for myself and the people around me. 

Becoming a cleaner person, tidying up after myself, is what I already consider as growing and becoming a better person. It may challenge me at first, but I really need to keep up. This may sound silly to others, but for me, this will be a vital part of my life, in my growth to be a full-fledged adult. 

There is also a lot more that I want to keep up once I move. Things that are not possible for me to do at home. Or, I should rather say, not easy to do at home. I will finally tackle my sugar addiction. There is not a day were I haven't consumed sugar. And once I realised that, it shocked me to my core. How did that happen? 

I am also so dead serious that this is an addiction for me. Once I found out that I may have a problem, I tried to stray away from sugar for just a day. But I always failed. Something always tempted me to consume sugar. I grew worried, still am. When I am at friends' places, I can handle this addiction. But once I am home, in my usual environment, I just can't stop going downstairs and eating the candy out of the pantry. 

And the worst part is, for years, I started to dislike the taste of sweet things. Still, my body and mind crave it so much that I can't stop. I feel cheated and betrayed by my own body. 

Tackling this addiction is also my goal once I move out of my house. Another step to becoming a better person. Not for other people, but for myself (ง'̀-'́)ง