Unfair

I was in love with you for so long. I lost every bit of myself loving you. I didn’t even recognize myself once I finally moved on. I now see that you never even liked me. I truly believe you only dated me because I was a friend of yours and you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I’m sure I would’ve been better off with hearing “I don’t like you like that”. You were in love with the one before me and you were in love with the one after me, so why not me? You broke me. Every time I felt heartbroken from something you did or said I would think “this is the worst”, but you proved me wrong by doing something worse and shattering any ounce of light inside me. You now drink so much and hated it. You always told me I didn’t know you and now I see you were right. You never even gave me a chance to know you. You hated me. “A man who hates himself will punish you for loving him”, you took every ounce of love I gave you and gave it to her.. I still don’t hate you. I will always have love for you and I hate that about myself. I had panic attacks just from the mere thought of running into you, yet a sliver of me hoped to see your face. I hope you’re happy, truly. I know you were my karma from the one before you. I just hope it’s all over.