nightmares

ive been having nightmares since i think the start of the summer. its always the same everynight. a normal dream that ends up with me running away from something. i hate getting followed. 

at first, i thought it would get fixed by itself but it didnt. i spent the first week waking up in fear almost having a heart attack. i was going crazy, i didnt know what was wrong. i even told my mom but she just said "im not a doctor" and then started blaming me for having nightmares. 

after that i didnt brought it up anymore and i started to do somethings about it. i decided not to sleep as much as possible. i know, crazy right? but i literally slept 5 hours a week for almost a month or more. i was so done, i was dying under the pressure of my studies, friends, mental problems, lack of food and sleep.

it was so bad, but at least i didnt had any nightmares. i still dont really talk about it with my friends i dont want to sound weak. 

after all that i still have nightmares but i sleep more, even if it means id be scared to death.