hello

im pretty sure my ex got back with his other ex. and i guess that sent me into some phase. long story short i threw up and i tried hurting myself. i just got out the shower though so that is awesome. 

ive been trying to make a blog for the past few days but i always do it at night so i pass out in the middle of it. i havent been handling anything properly for the past 2 months. or maybe i really dont care! my dog died 2 months ago and i havent been crying as much as i should, i rejected someone's feelings for me even though im desperate for a boyfriend, and im not taking anything seriously. im too laidback. that person A situation. i just hate him for no reason. and thats so stupid. he was nothing but nice to me.

im sorry i havent been able to make a proper blog. im sorry that my mind is scrambled and i cant absorb things like i should. im sorry that i vent all the time. ive been trying to keep it all in but it came out in such an ugly way i got dizzy.

i do not want to hurt myself but its all  ican think about. im probably not going to draw blood though.  but pleasse dont feel bad this blog is for documenting so i can look back adn say "wow what aloser LOL"\ i have a fucking headache