screw you bro

fuck fuck FUCKK im starting to regret my decision. i keep thinking about how upset shes been feeling lately since i dropped her ahh. plus she has once mentioned that im her only reason to live? haha thats not true right.. no but seriously, even if she depends on me for emotional support ive got my own problems too. i dont have all the energy and patience to take care of her. lord i cant even take care of myself. im scared she might threaten to harm herself or something, i just hope shes not that crazy or ill freeze immediately. ugh i hate it sm whenever i think about how much i triggered her abandonment issues. she mustve not expected me to leave so suddenly too, i bet that shes not gonna trust anyone for a long long time. BUT SHE HAS MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIOR. "but.. she doesnt have ill intentions, she just got defensive because it triggered her!!" bro okay she didnt intend to hurt me but like, it still has a big impact on me?? plus mental health issues dont excuse bad actions. i repeat, mental illness is not a free pass to treating other people like shit. "she has been getting better, she only did it recently..!!". yeah she only did it once this year, and whatever happened mustve been just an accident that should be forgiven right?? no oh my god how can i move on that easily. fuck her abandonment issues, i still feel bad but ive been ignoring my own good for way too long now. 

and you know what? from what ive heard and saw, ive concluded that she has been abusing a friend of ours, whether its intentional or not. hear me out, i think im right on this one. so lets call this abused friend C. she is always pissed off at C's behavior as C is usually known for being childish and "annoying". its fine to be annoyed, but she literally says the rudest things ever to C JUST BECAUSE OF SMALL THINGS. so C asked "did you buy a new rubber band?" and thats a normal question right? she said "no if you dont know about anything shut up and fuck off". wow okay.. ah wait that aint the point. theres more than just occasionally being annoyed at C's smallest actions. she has admitted using C just to vent out her anger...???? so that she can have the right mood to talk to me??? what the fuck??? and she said that shit so proudly too holy hell, like no remorse at all. at the time, i didnt say anything as standing up for C would just put me in trouble. thats not all of it though, she does a lot of bullshit to the poor girl too because that girl wouldnt dare to speak up. god im so sorry C. i was always silent whenever you were treated badly. i know that youre pissed, i am too. ive grown to dislike her. and no this is not mental health stuff, she CHOSE to treat her this way and theres no excuse for it. she is definitely a bad person. supposing i addressed her doings, what would she say? hmm let me guess.

 "but my mental health is ass, i dont know how to deal with it!!" 

"but she basically agreed to it, she doesnt mind being ragdolled around like a dog!!"

"but shes a bad person too!! so i have the right to treat her badly!!"

"why do you care?"

no again mental illness is not an excuse for bad behavior. and why do you have to let out all your anger on her just so you dont accidentally lash out at me?? at this point id just rather you stay the fuck away from the both of us. yeah ik that girl is such a pushover or whatever you call it, she definitely said that she doesnt mind being pushed around. but it still doesnt excuse your actions bitch. and i just know for a fact that she actually minds being pushed around. omg who would want to be treated like ass? only masos would enjoy that shit (sorry masochists). and i know for a fact that shes not happy bc look at her expressions?? her attitude?? her words?? when youre lashing out at her?? sure she may be a bad person too, im saying this bc ive only heard of the rumours. but what youre doing is not making you any better than her holy shit. and theres no way im ignoring abusive behavior again. i wont ever regret leaving you.

also my ex friend accidentally dropped her calculator and it smashed onto the ground like an atomic bomb. she was so mad that she stepped onto my feet on purpose. it didnt hurt tho