Numb

Honest to god I feel like I’ve been stuck in like purgatory for the past few weeks. Like dude I’m not even here.

It’s actually so weird. I’ve spent a good chunk of my life just being super depressed and shit. But suddenly just feeling close to nothing is so strange. 

Like obviously I’ve had some moments where I feel some real shit. I got real pissed out of nowhere seeing this asshole in my gym class this year. And I have a minor crush on this one girl. But besides that? Nothing. I feel jackshit. Which is definitely better than being the biggest bummer on the planet and being sad 24/7. That shit sucked. But this still isn’t super great. 

I haven’t been sleeping well either. It’s been a nasty mix of sleeping for like 1-2 hours to sleeping like 12 hours. And I always wake up feeling exhausted. So I started doing some energy drinks and it works a little. But I’m probably plunging myself further into this cycle of the worst sleep of my life. Awesome. Fan fucking tastic. I’ve been using what time I have when I’m mostly conscious to do college application shit. But I feel like I’m just going through the motions lately. I’m lowkey feeling dead. Which isn’t awesome. 

Well. Whatever. Shoutout to Numb and Faint by Linkin Park because I’m really feeling that shit right now.