i really wish i never existed

im so tired of everything, the world is so tiring. school started again, and i missed a bunch because i was sick. im failing four classes, and the year only just started. my mom keeps getting on my ass about it, even though im working as hard as i can. surprise, but you telling me that im failing doesnt magically make me passing. i know its really hard and annoying for her, but i honestly dont care how she feels anymore. she wont get me any of the help i need, and she only tries to help after its already too late to do anything. like, i bet that therapy wouldve helped back when i was only kind of thinking about blowing my brains out. the worst thing is that im too much of a fucking pussy to actually do anything about it, so im stuck living on this stupid rock until i eventually get a fucking tumor or something. if im lucky ill starve to death, fuck everything.