what?

why is everything so exhausting? i cant go a day without worrying about my looks, the things i said, how i look when working on homework, my posture etc. its tiring and i hate it why cant i stop overthinking every step i make? maybe it'll go away when im older but i dont think it will haha. i have so much to say but i dont know where to start and i dont think i can put into words how im feeling. everday makes me feel drained and exhausted, purely because i have school and i need to be around people i cant stand. homework gives me stress. i just wish i was good at something, i cant draw or do basic math or play games without getting annoyed. i judge too much even though i hate every single thing in me. maybe judging others makes me feel better about myself, it probably does i just dont want to realize it. i wish i died so i wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again.