first largely straight friend group

im making a ton of new friends ( i think ? they all seem really passive-aggressive to each other, myself included, but i think it's just their way of bonding ??? this generation is cooked ) but it's a little exhausting. 

i've frequently been referred to as "the gay guy" and it's so irritating. they're mostly nice about it but i get weird looks when i pick up sparkly stuff and talk about makeup. my being gay is also frequently the topic of conversation, even though i've only brought it up once very briefly. it's always unprovoked and uncomfortably sexual.

i feel like i'm being sensitive about it but no one else is being boiled down to one (insignificant) part of who they are. idk. i am a sensitive person. 

it's just strange. the first time we met, i thought for sure they'd be nasty about it, but they were really really kind for like two hours but then the gay jokes started and just haven't stopped. it's uncomfortable. i was super confident for a bit and was socialising a lot but now i feel like it's all they have to think about me. 

sorta feel like just masquerading as what they think a "normal" guy should be but it makes me feel shitty to do that.

i'm also genderqueer, which i only briefly discussed with a couple of them (i sort of played it off as a joke, maybe thats why no ones judging me for that) and i'm terrified of all of them finding out i'm serious about it. i already feel like i'm being judged, i don't want to feel like a zoo animal. 

i wish i could just be my version of normal without them making me feel like i need to be their version of normal. makes me sad.