i want a hot girl and a little bit of money!

I'm not ready to grow up. I am so not ready to grow up. I guess this is just how it is when you go here. There's so much expected of me, so many classes and extracurriculars I have to do. Everyone looks like they're having so much more fun than me. It feels like every time I think I've finally become normal like everyone else I get a reminder that I'm not good enough again. What the hell is wrong with my sister? But if I bring it up I'd be the bad guy, I'm always the bad guy. Sorry I experience happiness?? I just wish I was normal and people liked me and I'd had sex already and I'd had my first kiss already and I'd be not-busy enough to be able to get a job during the school year and I'd been born a boy and I'd be so ready to grow up and hate being a little kid like everyone else and I'd be in a band and I'd be underweight and I'd have a hot face and I'd have good parents and I'd be dead by 16. At least I'll have the last one?