feeling loss before it happens

there's a certain kind of grief that shows up before anything is actually gone. when someone is slowly pulling away, when your time together starts to feel off, when they act different than you remember. when your mind tells you something is wrong, somethings going to happen, and you know its real. i remember what it's like to have that gnawing feeling in your gut, even when you're not with them. maybe the loss is death, maybe its a friend cutting you off. it even happens when you can feel yourself losing integral parts of what makes you you

ive experienced it all, and it can start to make you feel crazy. like you're overthinking, why are you worrying over something NOBODY else has noticed? this anxious dread that constantly hangs in the back of your mind. you're grieving something you're not supposed to be grieving. you think about 'self fulfilling prophecies' and how you shouldn't be constantly focusing on the future, but what if you just KNOW? what if your intuition is telling you something is going to happen, and you convince yourself it won't. and then what if it does? it feels like the world is crumbling. and its really, really hard. i don't know if its normal (i'm not a professional) but it's still something. sometimes we get in our heads, and thats alright. and if you've ever blamed yourself for sensing the ending too soon, like you somehow thought this into existence, youre not alone. grief is weird and there's no one way it shows up. sometimes it starts before the ending does