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just curious about people's thoughts on this topic, what do you consider an okay age gap? i'm talking about relationships between adults (18+). sometimes people get weird about my relationship because i'm 18 and my boyfriend is 24, and it made me wonder what's considered "okay" to most people.
what would you consider an okay age gap?
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xxRebellious_Emmaxx
You guys are both adults, and that's all that matters. Age gaps don't actually matter when it comes to 2 legal, consenting adults.
i agree with this take. any relationship has the potential to be toxic or abusive, but every relationship is different and people can't decide that all age gap relationships are immediately toxic/abusive based on that one factor because they know nothing about the relationship or the people in the relationship.
by Vesper Vile; ; Report
♡ jovi 🐹
it just depends. like so many things, it isnt black and white
i'll start young
a 5 year old and an 8 year old are "dating". they just play together, sometimes hold hands, its innocent, whatever. kids are cute
a 10 year old and a 13 year old are going out. might be a little weird but come on, theyre both kids in a relatively similar brainspace as each other still. as long as nothing inappropriate is going on, whatever
a 13 year old and a 16 year old are going out. this is where it starts to get weirder, because a 16 year old has begun to develop significantly compared to a 13 year old, both physically and mentally. a 16 year old is in their second or 3rd year of high school while a 13 year old is in 6th or 7th grade normally. vastly different life experience at this point tbh, high school is way different from middle school
some people draw the line at 18, once you hit 18 you should only date people 18+. i dont really agree. an 18 year old dating a 16 year old isnt a big deal imo (any younger than 16 and i'll side-eye). not that much difference in experience unless the 18 year old is like, already in college or acting fully grown up while the 16 year old is still immature kid acting. you know? everyone develops differently, so at this point it comes down to whether individual relationships are healthy for both parties
personally i think an 18 year old dating anyone over 20 or 21 CAN be very unhealthy. the operative word is CAN. 18 year olds are at that cusp of childhood and adulthood, it can be a confusing time. by 20 most people really start to feel solidly that they are in their adult years (even if they dont quite feel it yet). they start acting more adult and trying more adult things. an 18 year old getting dragged along for that ride could end up in a disaster. BUT! again, theres nuance
are you and your older bf good for each other? does he respect your boundaries, or does he push you to do things you dont feel comfortable with? does he take your feelings, concerns, etc seriously or does he shut you down because youre younger and therefore dont know what youre talking about/whats good for you? do you feel loved or do you feel owned? those are the important things to look at
once everyone is 21+ it starts to get a little less wavy. once everyone is 25+ it's like, whatever. 30+ come on, everyone is firmly planted in adult territory by now
my mom just turned 50 and she is married to a guy whos like, almost 70. they married i think 12 years ago? something like that. started seeing each other about 3-5 years before that, maybe. when i was younger i thought that was weird because i was young and dumb LOL. at that age i thought all age gaps were predatory and weird (though i never thought my step-dad was predatory or anything. hes a great guy)
basically its so nuanced, obviously there is SOME black and white (a full ass adult should not be going after minors. why cant you find someone your own age? big red flag). but yeah. not TOTALLY black and white
Evil Hi
its more abt life stages i think ! like. 32 y/o and a 40 y/o doesnt seem that weird but its acc a big age gap, so if ur both adults but are in similiar life stages, i dont rly think it matters that much? like, 23 and 40 are gonna have vastly diff life circumstances so it feels weird, but young adults usually have alot in common so it isnt that weird!! :3
robbinscatter
i am not approving of pedos and so on.
I think sometimes people pay way too much attention to the biological age of the body. More important is an age of mind and soul. What's the point to date someone of your age if they are dumber than you? Why should you feel restricted to be with your soulmate just because they are a bit younger? Should you ditch them and find someone of your age? That's love, not math. When the person really means it when they say they love someone's soul and mind and are not with them just because they are vulnerable and influenceable or just because of the age of their body (which is really weird) that should not be that judged
Yeah, as i said "a bit younger", not the whole decade dammit. if you are an adult, how can you say you love someone's personality if they didn't even had enough time on Earth to properly form it? That's just predatory
by robbinscatter; ; Report
Pallan
Well, my parents have a 10 year age gap, so maybe not that much but a bit less i guess is ok. Obviously tho an 18 years old can't date someone this young, so i guess around 10 years if both are over 18 and 2 max 3 years if one is 18 and the other not