Who's gonna hold you, like me?"

I was planning to make a blog post last weekend, and it was gonna be like, alllll yearning and being a hopeless romantic. Now I'm the complete opposite, I think it would be called an optimistic cynic. so far there have been two breakups in august, I'm thinking taylor prophesied it. I had my own three weeks ago and now my aunt is leaving my uncle. Being at home is gonna be a lot different now and im going to miss her lots :( she'll only be 30 minutes away at her sister's house but I dont know what I'll do now. she's been such a blessing in the one year i've lived with her, and she's my first relative that I can proudly say is my favorite. even though she won't be my related aunt, she's still my aunt and her family is my family. I'll be coping with this as best I can. i'm thinking of writing about it. 

In somewhat lighter news? i'm back in school now. notice I said "lighter", not "better". Anyway, my schedule is pretty alright. I have Spanish, Graphic Arts 2, Geometry, AP Environmental Science, then lunch, then Honors US History, and finally AP English Lang. At least these classes are more interesting than last year's. I honestly have no complaints about any, its just ugh. I can tell junior year is going to kill me. I'm sure that my school life will be good, even though my personal life is in shambles. For example, I don't have PE and I can actually dress without worrying about changing into hideous shorts. I'd say sweating, but it's averaging 90 degrees everyday. My one friend doesn't have any classes with me, but it's given me the push to talk more with people, and I think I have a good 2 new friends, plus 3 I weren't sure were friends but now I know. I'm trying my best to not be so shy, but it's not like one summer gave me 16 years of confidence. I think my deer in headlights stare is the only shyness I have left, because if someone talks to me then I'm fine. I can't help but look super anxious and mean and scary. It's okay because I know who else relates to that, which brings me to the most exciting part of my school week. 

So I'm pretty sure I've talked about MCR girl before on here, and from now on she'll be called Laney. Her name is Delaney but I can call her Laney. I talked to her about two Thursdays ago, when I decided I'd finally talk to her. I saw while walking to our class that she had a pin from the concert merch stands, "they make me do push ups in DRAAG", so it was perfect to compliment as an opener. She said thanks, and then GUESS WHAT. I FOUND OUT SHE WENT THE SAME DAY AS ME. NOT ONLY THAT, SHE ALSO WAS IN THE SECTION RIGHT NEXT TO ME!! I was the yellow lights and she was green! It's crazy that if I went to give bracelets at the section left of me, I could've seen her. Before the concert, I was actually like daydreaming "huh I wonder if I'll make a friend or even a fling or something" and she just so happened to be in the same room (at the same time). That day, we had a fire drill that period which was perfect so we could talk. We talked more about the show, then the heat, and then school in general. I've remembered the information she told me about herself. She likes Bullets and the Mad Gear EP, her birthday is July 20th so the concert was a birthday gift (mine was a Christmas gift)(She's a Cancer...who get along well with Pisces. I'm not an astrology girl but I mean..), and her favorite Black Parade song is Sleep, unfortunately she dislikes Disenchanted but I can excuse that. 

I then proceeded to ignore her for the next couple days..because I was too shy and I thought she hated me since she'd give me mean looks. I swear, I can be giving a speech in front of a thousand people and I wouldn't even be as anxious as she makes me feel. I had lunch with her last Monday but it was the worst because I was quiet and the silence was awkward. I had my friend give her my number last Thursday with a note I wrote, which, roughly remembering, said "Hi Laney I'm sorry for not talking I just get super shy but I do want to be your friend, here's my number and instagram if you have it". Another beige flag of hers is that she doesn't have social media (besides pinterest), which sounds crazy that I'd side-eye that but it's just I'm so online that I have no clue how to talk to people who are actually digitally healthy. Anyway, I then ran away from the cafeteria and was anxious until I got home. I was literally on the toilet when i got a "Hey" from a number I didn't know. IT WAS HER. My heart was RACING and I ignored it for an hour until I had the bravery to say hello back. TDLR because this is a long entry already, we had a two hour text conversation and I learned much more about her because I'm more confident with my words than my voice. 

More about her, she thinks my hair is poofy and she loves it, she doesn't think she's cool but I certainly do, she burns CDS and has lots of real album CDS, volunteers at the library across the street, LOVES books which I really like about because I'm getting back into my reading habits, she takes AP Euro and has the same teacher as me since he teaches multiple history subjects, and who we both love because he's silly. Wow I wrote a lot okay um ending this post now but I do have new updates so be prepared