I am posting here about life (what's new)

Pretty much I am feeling like me again the old me..well, slowly really I am seeing quite the process of new goals I am trying to more than damn aim for. 

For sure, I am 100% overwhelmed to say the least. I am starting to think one thing at a time but sometimes that is just not possible and it's one of those either now or never lets just get the f**k going with life and this time just have fun with not a lot of expectations meaning after I do all this shit I literally just wanna relax no stress, have fun to myself and have no expectations for awhile. I really need a break mentally and physically just drained but not right now got that energy drink glow. lol 

I 100% want things to really honestly just move the fk along its getting quite annoying going "Oh right that's gotta get done. Or how I am gonna get all that money to do that one?" I would not know where to begin. 

My plan was to do something to break a record of sorts. Still on my to do list but not for long. But between trying to aim to do that, an event, build a house and trying to film my next movie. WOW!!!!! I need a fking nap. 100% !!!! 

I wonder if anyone around me goes "hmm hes just bit*hy because hes got like 50 literal time consuming stressful things going on in a time frame". GIVE IT A TRY!!!!!!!!!! I had to come here to rant, semi not a positive post but there is good news like things are finally turning around but in all honesty I would like to go and just sit back and say to everyone "In 3 WHOLE WEEKS everyone can get a hold me for whatever they may need" literally a whole 3 weeks just to revamp not think of these 50-60 -100 things going on at once. I am over exerted to say the least. 

When Mary Jane is not doing it you know I am stressed the fck out sure its a good stress but is it? IS IT??????!!!!! Wow I really just need someone alone time to myself like real alone time like I said back to just doing me for a few weeks at least with no expectation of "How's this coming along?" NOPE! Figure it out while I am gone. I think we all need a breather and a break to ones self when boom here's another thing to figure out. Okay, slowly working on that. Boom, get on this start this event. Get permits...iiiii Haly FAKE!!!!! I am going just a bit insane at the moment but I am managing at the good aspects of all this all things to improve my life. 

The event I was going to do in 2020 never happened for well..obvious reasons!!! lol 

But I am starting up where I left off and starting to do this event alllll over again from the start again. I am look forward to seeing it become this finished product..I hope. I say I hope better not talk too much sh.t lol 

Really even if I WANTED to say okay I need 3 weeks alone ... LOL !!!! Biggest joke ever right now. It is not in the budget if it is...I find a way...GONE!!! But that is really stretching it on a thread of string of hope to get away for 3 weeks...oh I dream to not have people throw sh.t at me as soon as I wake up. I literally feel the headache starting as soon as I hear "Here is the plans today" |

NOW, since its time consuming and people do not KNOW their limits of going hey I should back off of him, its first thing in the morning and I am throwing all this at him mere moments of waking up WITHOUT coffee. You best not expect OH PLEASE TELL ME MORE. At this point I think anyone with a ...brain...lol would realize I am asking to get chewed he just woke up and I am throwing this and that at him not even giving him a moment to go get up and take a piss. You are asking for it...and I don't feel bad. How about try me when I got a hold of you and say "Hey I am up come over" meaning in translation "Come over I been up for an hour now I am ready to deal with you're sh/t" but if you don't give me that time to get ready get in the zone...I become cranky. I won't allow people to have that over me. You either learn your limit of time with me or you will be told until it gets through a thick skull. And if you didn't get it the first time around of me being NICE about it, if you need to be told more than once like a child you will be told and schooled like one. 


Gezz i am bitchy today a lot on my mind I don't care about my typos or this being perfect. Exhausted as a mothw00wfkkkkkkkker!!! 

A !!!!!