I need a muse

I miss having someone to idolize. I used to draw him, write poetry about him, dress him up in clothes I made him... I was never happier, and I haven't been that happy since.

He was a perfect work of art, it was impossible to fully capture in my own works. I would spend hours just analyzing whatever he did. Every text, every selfie, and playing over our interactions in my mind.

It's not like I was in love with him, I'm not even sure I'm capable of that. I couldn't imagine marrying him or anything. But it wasn't really platonic either. Something in-between.

I don't really miss him, but I miss the feeling

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