tw ; need to get this off my chest

lately ive just been feeling so empty like theres no point in living its like a repeating cycle; school, study, sleep. except now theres little sessions of me breaking down in between like how i am now.

i just cant help but feel like im the problem, like im unwanted, sometimes i wish everybody would stop being nice to me and tell me to kms so i can actually do it without feeling guilty.

and perhaps this is ‘bad’ of me? but i dont want to be in this religion anymore. sure i’ve shown some interest in it as a kid but now i really just dont want to i want to be able to live my life freely but i feel so caged in this religion

theres just so many things going on in my life i just want to break down and die