Diary thoughts

Hello, my dear diary! I was recently in the weekly call with my friends and am afraid that I was tedious to be around... I really have to farm more aura to have some rizz and be fun to be around (I hope that "rizz" is also used in friendship contexts lol this uncertainty about new slang words goes along with one of the things we talked about: we are not the newest generation anymore).

We also mentioned diaries, I wasn´t asked and also didn´t comment about what I do here (shhhh let´s consider it a secret), but it was interesting to hear that 2/3 of them have diaries, I thought that it was less common nowadays (even more in people that aren´t teenagers anymore). Both said that writing things that are in theirs minds help them to see how "dumb" some fears/preoccupations/ideas are... Am I lacking that much self-awareness? lol Like, writing what is in my mind helps me put thing out of my chest (and to commit less mistakes in English :P), but the exact same issues come back and back again, even when I know that something is "dumb", writing it don´t make me discard it.

Another topic was the feeling of progressing in life, which was mentioned too (not by me :P Even if it relates to my life, just in a different way). One of my friends gave a really good argument about not wanting to go back to the past and looking how much the life changed, but in my case, even when most people would say that I am in a calmer situation right now, my problem is something that I can´t really have hope to change: my appearance. Not as bad as before, but wrongly switching to the selfie camera of my phone is still a jumpscare in a horror movie that is  far away of ending (of course I am being dramatic :P But the next plastic surgeries won´t come that soon and I am afraid to lose a lot of my youth because of this problem... Just like a famous phrase "the youth is wasted on the youth", I don´t want to waste mine and, even if my way of thinking is similar to the one people frequently regret in the future, just like them I will think that I am the different one that will have a different outcome (actually there is a great chance I am right, my way of living maybe won´t make me get to the age in which people start regretting more lol).

I think that now I will go back to do things that also reduce the chances of regret in the future, this time in the "positive" way lol. I could also write about the the (not so) great adventure of searching a place to live, while also really desiring to live alone... It is more expensive and harder to find, but I would really love a "spoiled" brat era lol Maybe my wish becomes true if I put Veruca Salt in my kinnie list (is this reference still something new or has this trend died in the pandemic?). Anyways, if there is someone reading, wish you a not Ohio day and byee! :).

Music of now: remixes of diverse games I like.