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hello my beloved friends/mutuals/strangers
grahhhhhhÂ
i have to go see extended family for the first time in like. 9 years tomorrow.
last time they saw me i was just a wee chap. now i've got a thick moustache & i'm covered in face piercings. long hair and nails. gayest bloke on the block. i'm so scared of disappointing them or something IDEK !!! it's not like they don't know -- my mom talks about me all the time. but it's different actually being there. i'm glad i'm going because it's been so long but i can't get over how scary it issssss
besides that umm. i've got my name legally changed :3 have to go do a FUCK. TON. of paper work or else i'll get in trouble but whatever.... we win these gg ez
i'm going to a biiiig art market on saturday !! i'm so so so excited !! i've been to like 3 art markets in the last 2 months but they were pretty small and none of the artists i'm obsessed with were there... but this one ? oh baby they're all there !!! i'm going to spend a DISGUSTING amount of money (its okay i saved up for that exact reason)
stressing over uni even though i haven't even applied yet. accommodation is way more expensive than i thought it would be & i'm terrified of having to share a dorm ... my genderqueer gay ass WILL be beaten up on site i'm sure (i'm being unreasonable this isn't true) and like just ugh. what if i don't make any friends !! i'm good at making friends !! i love making friends !! with other queer people ... the cishets probably won't like me ,.,.,,,, guys what if i don't meet the love of my life at uni. it's all over for me. literally last resort. i can't meet a dude at work or over the internet bro. uni is my last option <////3
put me in your prayers gods know i need it
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YUTIAN
i love going to art markets too, i may have spent an ungodly amounts of money the past few months and more in the future on those..,
and about your worries about uni, if you're applying to something in a big city, chances are, you'd meet a lot of other queer people there. (idk if i can say much for general universities, i only went to a media arts college where half the students are queer lol) but i'm you'd find some nice people there!
good luck on everything!!
my campus is maybe 20 minutes from the city so you might be right !! thank you for the reassuring words anyway :3
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