kind of misandrist vent

i would only want to live out life if i was super attractive or maybe a man and also not autistic. i personally think life is actually a burden if you are none of these things and not worth living sometimes. everything is just bad i feel like. i dont like history any more because all it ends up with is all the men hate the women in their civilization and they make them stay home and incubate while they run the government and colonize and start wars. it makes me so ashamed. all the love i had felt is gone for history because every time it just makes me cry. i hate men so much i cant sleep because of it, and i cant stop im so mad they never got punished its not fair that the world is theirs i wish they would suffer more. the world is so unfair and cruel and i actually do not think things are ever going to be right in the world. not as long as men exist. i cannot make friends anymore. i try talking to my classmates sometimes but they dont really care about what i have to say and i have went through last year unnoticed and i probably will again this year and the year after and so on. this is just the way things are for me and i dont know why. nothing makes me happy ive just been this way ever since i gained consciousness in like 6th grade and then it was just one blow after another. i dont want to take part in this awful world, not if i have to be one of the unlucky ones, its just not worth it. i hope one day that the men on this planet get shipped off to war and just kill each other until they are all gone. that wont happen ever though so i dont care about anything else.