First day recap ig bc im going through it rn

First day was really chill, i have apush first period and then math and then AP BIO which is gonna kill me but i have every class with people i know so its whatever i guess, ap bio is going to suck so damn bad though the teacher warned us that she was going to give us Monday tests and "train us to study on the weekends" and its also like white girl party in there so theres that. After three hellish classes in a row i have french with a bunch of weird freshmen, i think i'm the only junior in a first year language (thanks to mandatory pe class for two years.) The teacher is really nice tho and he promised that the class was easy, and my friend in french II confirmed that it was. 

Then i have journalism and there are only 3 of us in there, my best friend and my wife and then i guess there are actually 4 of us because this one girl is joining and im kinda sad abt it bc shes gonna ruin the vibe lowkey, but my teacher was in a great mood and he started playing the game me and my friend recommended him and he loves it and asked us for advice on a part and we all shared ideas about how to change the class up. We are gonna turn it into a bigger thing and have students be able to submit stuff semi-anonymously for us to publish and stuff, i really hope it works out but we will see, in the meantime a class with only 4 people is chill asf. 

And then i have lunch which is also chill i know a bunch of my pals who also have the 2nd lunch period with me, we are gonna try and secure the fountain again this year since a group of assholes got us banned from it last year, but the principal always said we weren't the problem so, i also don't have lunch with either of my best best friends bc one of them is a senior and the other didn't get second lunch but its okay we prosper. 

After lunch i have art class, and this was my favorite of the day because i love my art teacher but also bc this little freshmen came and say by me because i was "the only other guy in the class" (and really i wasn't bc there were two dudes on the other side of the room but i was the only one sitting alone on the other side of the room) He was a little odd but i am determined to make a positive impact on this dudes class experience, just hope that he never clocks me as trans lmao. And after art my last period is Ap lit with literally my favorite teacher ever i love her so much and all my friends are in there and its gonna be so peak. I also went to the bathroom during this class and since i legally have to use the girls bathroom i was washing my hands in there and this girl walked in and bless her heart she yelled bc she thought she was in the boys bathroom. And of course as a trans dude who has never caught anyone off-guard in a bathroom before (at least at school) i felt so bad and pretended that I was the one in the wrong bathroom, but i don't think she understood bc she apologized to me, so i guess she just assumed i was some butch lesbian or smthn. But it was so weird to just be treated like a dude all day, the art class dude just kept asking me a bunch of questions and the whole time my head was racing because i was so worried about how my voice sounded and how i was talking because i didn't want to ruin this perceived cis-ness i had achieved for the first time ever at school. 

And then, i got in the car, and i told my mom about my day- and she could not have cared less. And then we got my brother and on the way home she dropped that we have to put one of our dogs down. Wow, okay, at least let us get home first, but man i'm so upset about it. I've had that dog basically my whole life and he is just in so much pain right now and i cant bear the thought of him hurting so bad, he has a growth on his stomach that the vet never cared about and then it got to a point where we literally couldn't help him with it at all, and he can barely stand let alone get up, and since we've gotten home he has done nothing but cry. Its breaking my heart man, terrible terrible timing, and i don't even want to think about how my other animals will react, especially our other dog- they're the same age but he is doing significantly better. 

So now i'm in my room typing this and feeling such a mix of emotions that i can't do anything but slump on my bed and blast music, when i was supposed to come home and finish more of my summer reading. But like whatever i guess, if worse comes to worse i can make up the grade later, and i hate to pull a sympathy card but i genuinely am gonna need a day because of my dog. The other weird part about it is that i don't even like my dogs all that much, they have never done any normal dog things and they always smell so bad, i am a cat person BECAUSE of them, but i just feel so bad about it because my family don't even take very good care of them, my dad has always said that he was disappointed in our dogs because the only reason we have them is because we lost our other dog years ago and my parents couldn't stand it, and he was the best dog in the world man, he shouldn't have left us when he did. But life goes on, and school doesn't allow for this kind of emotion and shit, not junior year for sure.