Stroke by stroke

I just want to share one of the joys for me of being in my thirties is being able to look back at my young adulthood and while forgiving myself, see it for what it was, and be thankful for how far I've come.  In my twenties, I was thrust into the world unprepared following a tumultuous upbringing with little to no support, and while being intellectually advanced for my age, I was emotionally and socially behind, so I had a massive chip on my shoulder and did not exercise self-awareness.  That learning period was very painful for me and those in my life who were affected by my behavior, and I'm still learning how to make amends with people I hurt back then.  But in my thirties I have been able to solidify my sense of identity, which enabled me to let go of the past, forgive and learn new and healthier ways of approaching challenges and relationships.  I'm grateful for the freedom of not having expectations of others, but instead serving them in love without needing anything in return.  I'm grateful I can share my authentic self fearlessly and people will often like me without me needing to try so hard to "fit in".  I'm grateful that when people don't like me, I don't need to be offended.  I'm grateful that I can apologize for my mistakes without worrying about saving face.  I've also learned that I'm a sensitive person but that doesn't mean I need to ride the waves of my emotions and thoughts, I can be an observer and curator of my mind.  This has been an essential tool in my emotional and spiritual development.  Today I sat at a table with ten friends, plus their friends who I'm just getting to know.  I do this about once or twice a month, and we frequently go out on Tuesday nights to a park and watch the sunset together or gather at someone's home.  I'm so happy to be part of a healthy and diverse social group where we just do life together and show up in support of each other's journey without trying to control it.  My thirties so far have been an exercise in maturity, embracing new life and learning a new way of addressing things that come my way.  At this point in my life, I feel I've reached a curve in my developmental graph that will be trending exponentially upward from here on out.  Sometimes I wish I had reached this point earlier in life but as we all know, every life story is different.  There is no pattern we must all conform to, but rather each life is a unique work of art, a masterpiece being painted over time, stroke by stroke.