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i dont know how many times ive tried to hate someone . i cant Hate people . i mean i do hate one person but im better off just Not Caring about her. UGH i do not want to care about anyone i cant stand it its so fucking painful . because no one cares as much as i do .
i get angry seeing certain people i know with others . online and irl! cause im over here expecting a conversation of some sort , i dont get it , then i see someone Else getting it instead! what the hell! it feels like people only text me when they have no one else to talk to. hypocritical , because i ghost others when im hanging out with people . but i am never hanging out with people!! its like im sitting on my pc for like 3+ hours and i get no texts no nothing . why is it when im finally busy or with someone i get texts and shit? where were you BEFORE when i was all alone for a long period of time??
this is my no-life having ass complaining though . everyone who isnt me is busy someway somehow . and im simply just envious of that . i hate sitting at home all the time . but if someone i want to hang out with doesnt invite me anywhere then i decline everyone else . but im never getting invited to shit so that doesnt really matter lol . i cant even handle going outside without my mom unless im going to fucking school . i am sick of reality .
i stalk everyone i know like a weirdo and i hate it. i want to stop very badly. im obsessed . and i just dont want to care ever again because of it . i dont want to open up to people . because everyone is so quick to leave me . its not fair. i keep getting my hopes up caring for people just for it all to shatter. me and my stupid expectations. shit like this makes me yearn for a partner, someone i can call mine . i dont know if there is anyone in the world who would devote all there time to me , but if there is i probably wouldnt even be able to handle it. i just dont want to fucking care anymore . its hurting me a lot .
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Skruffy_64 (CW: Flashing Lights)
i get this. it's weird for me though. i have swings between caring too much and too little. but trust me, don't beat urself up over it. your only 16. you are still at the "learning to human" part of your life. it'll brighten up. i mean, when i was 16 (two years feels like forever sometimes) i had no friends and almost spent the entirety of my time inside. and, well, knowing no hate is a good thing, great actually.
Alie :3
oh my fucking god i relate to this so much. hanging out with friends starts to take a toll on theknd when the entire your thinking stuff like "they're only doing this to pity me" or "im boring them they probably want to go home" always complaining about being bored and sitting inside all day, yet i never make any effort to do more. and then there the countless times you meet people and get to know them and realize they're either a bad person or i just don't like them. and usually it's for a good reason, which makes me hate the fact i don't want to cut them off. im so desperate for any type of attention that i'd rather stick around someone i know isn't right for me rather than just be alone. like the exact thing i did with my last ex, i got little to know attention from him yet i still stuck with him because of how ecstatic i was when he showed me a little bit of attention. he would ghost me for days or even weeks and always come back with a dry "hi" and i never questioned it. i hate not being able to hate.
jeez this is too relatable. staying with someone who sucks just for some sort of attention sounds like an actual nightmare. im so glad you got out of there! and having preferences with people is THE WORST . like literally what is the point?? getting any interaction should rock. we will learn to hate one of these days.... 💪💪
by jonie; ; Report
neofenixlive
maybe the problem is that you care too much
like, no offense, but you need to care less about people
they will dissapoint you or forget about you easily
so all you can do is not care, and focus on stuff that entertains you
thats how i've been living stuck in my house for the last 15 years
augheg youre absolutely right ;__; no offense taken at all!!
by jonie; ; Report
yummy
Hey hey I know it can be super easy to think no one cares about you but trust me they do a lot of people care about you they might not show it or they might be like super busy.
i gotta keep reminding myself of this ^__^;; thank you so much!!
by jonie; ; Report