favoritism allegation

for some reason i’m so biased towards who i want to talk to . which is so stupid because my lonely ass should be grateful someone could have the audacity to talk to me! this is 10x stupider because i complain when people talk to people who aren’t meOh my god whatever this isn’t the point . the point is i’m too forgiving . and maybe i’m desperate or whatever but i can’t help but forgive people i’ve had a bond with .

this is weird though. cause i can’t help but forgive my ex after everything that happened . but i find it hard to forgive a close friend of mine . i mean ive known my ex for a very long time , the friend not as much , but i dont know if that matters or not . i feel like what the person did matters more … but either way its stupid how my mind works . if someone i dont talk to as much talks to me , i get more excited than if someone i regularly talk to talks to me . same with if a boy talks to me (which is rare x_x).

it’s like im always looking for something new . i can’t handle change though , so i dont know why i can’t just be happy with what i have . with who i have . i dont have as much as i used to .. but i wasnt happy with that either . i threw it all away like i always do. like a spoiled brat. Ugh whatever whatever i feel sick im sorry for all these long blogs dont read them im just trying not to worry my friends or whatever idk im sorru