ex-friends till the end

so it's been exactly a month. i know you read the message i gave you on the 5th, even though I gave it on the 4th. 

i saw a yellow checkered car in real life. but i didn't ride on the back of it. i did ride a waymo though. I didn't cast a spell over the west. Maybe over the south? I'm staying in the south of LA, after all. and well, home is to the south of the world? You're there now, south of the world. But I'm just rambling. If I see you, what would I say to you? Maybe it's better if I don't say anything. At All. Like. Never talk to you ever again. 

After all, when it's all been said and done, it doesn't matter whether I tell you more or not. I don't even want to keep the peace, buf if the first time you see me is going to be at our friend's goodbye party, then I'll just ignore you. Plus, it'll be at my home. Do you have the guts to go? Fuck you. I think I'll be mad whether you go or whether you don't. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, since you already showed you're a shitty friend. But if you go, then I'll be more angry. First of all, how dare you go to MY house after everything you've done to me? And second of all, you'd be showing me you're not necessarily a bad friend, you just didn't care about ME, and that'd make me hate you even more. Because we were supposed to be FRIENDS. whatever I felt for you was just an extra, a torment, a sorrow that ONLY I carried in my back like Jesus did the cross. You didn't do shit, and then YOU ignored me and threw away our friendship, when for you NOTHING CHANGED. i was the one suffering about this, NOT YOU. and i only decided to tell you because you'd already HURT ME. you had already damaged our friendship, so why not go in style? I guess it worked, because we're no longer friends. I guess I just want to tell you to go fuck yourself. I could ramble for hours about the why's and how's but it doesn't change the ending. I hate you. And even if you said you didn't hate me, you didn't care about me (as your friend) and I guess that hurts the most. I was nothing to you. Nothing. And you went out of your way to show me. why keep me around for so long? yeah, fuck you. I really have nothing to say to you but that. Whatever, we won't really see each other anymore. This semester will be hell, probably. But I'll concentrate on the band. That's all I gotta do.