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i'm pretty sure it was under a youtube comment section about a video o why you shouldn't go to art school, one of the commenters said something about how if your art is just inspired by other artists and not by your own experiences tthen you can't like idk make your own art or something like that? like it won't be original or i don't know i can't remember the fucking quote i was tired and doom watching videos because i've been self desctructing for the past couple of days and currently still am. but that comment about that made me realize
"oh yeah that makes sense."
all i do is stare at all the others artists work online and complain about how i'll never be like them because they are better than me and they have some sort of drive that i wasn't born with or yk all these things.
but it's probably just
because i'm not doing anything.
i can't come up with good stories because i have no stories to tell
because i'm not doing anything.
i've never done anything with my life.
i'm never doing anything with my life.
all the artists work that i envy. they have done things. they have and are living life (i assume). they are probably doing well for themselves i don't know.
of course the things i try to make are extremely generic and my character designs are uncreative and i hate my art style because it never feels like me.
nothing feels like me because i don't even know who i fucking am.
my life isn't being lived. i am a completely waist of a heartbeat.
of course i feel that way.
i'm not doing anything.
i don't know why it's so hard for me to do anything. i reckon i've got several screws loose, but i don't have the money to pay someone to tell me which screws they are and where to put them back in. and i don't have the drive and discipline to put them back in myself. i've been thinking about all the things i don't have all the time like i've already said. one of these things are medication. i wish i could be medicated. just on something. something to fix me because i'm just so broken. yuck. that's cringe. but how the hell else could i word it?
i'm bored.
nothing's happening.
but of course it's not because i'm not fucking doing anything.
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{casio, sollux}
I totally feel this. I think though you might not be viewing the full picture; What happens to you excludes a lot of the things that happen to you in your day to day life, it's just about what is relevant to other people and what you feel deserves that attention.
The same logic can be applied to yourself. Do you really have nothing going on, or are you just neglecting to think about what actually makes up your person because it's not conventional enough? A lot of the time I'm stuck in the mentality that nothing makes me happy and I need change, when I'm just thinking on impulse and being a party pooper for no reason. Think about what really makes you happy and what you like doing. I can clearly see you like blogging, since you're on this site and wrote up all this in the first place. That's cool! Even if your posts aren't sunshine and rainbows all the time, that's still a part of you and that's super fucking important to think about if you have this mindset.
As for the first thing, I don't think studying other people's art is bad, it's just frowned upon because it feels like stealing to people who aren't actually artists. It's what made my art start to pick up, you just have to study your inspirations properly and incorporate the knowledge earned into your own pieces.
i am definitely the type to find the bad in everything and not even look for anything good. there's a couple other things i like to do, most of which involve making things. i like making kandi and jewelry and stickers n stuff. lots of shit i can wear yk? or like decorating shit. but because i feel so miserable about the fact that my life is so boring and everyone else is better than me at those things i don't make time to do them. it's so odd right? i couldn't tell ya where this mindset came from. or maybe i could if i thought reeeeally hard about it. like i am fully aware of the things i like doing but will not do them bc "i don't feel like it" or "i'm not good enough at it" and i'll hide away in my daydreams instead. and that fact about myself makes me even more miserable and angry and it's like this weird cycle of self destructing BECAUSE i am self destructing.
and when it comes to like studying, i kinda hate doing it. which is bad i know. but it's very boring to me. well not entirely but yk. i would rather study someones work than study from life bc i dunno, i'm stupid lol? i know my lack of studying from life is why my art isn't good enough, but it's so fucking hard to get myself to study from life because it's so damn boring to me. my brain is really bad at focusing on the fundamentals and i obsess over style a lot. it's baaad. and i always feel like i'm studying wrong even when i do study. basically i am just extremely annoying about literally everything is the takeaway.
by krisxokay; ; Report