Krishna 📿

When I went to Austin, and was actually out there by myself, is when I began to truly question the religion I was raised in. I began to wonder if I really did believe all of it, and began to notice how some of my actions implied that I didn't. And when I asked myself if I did, I realized I didn't truly know what to think of any of it, and that all I knew was that there was an ultimate higher power. But I knew for sure there was more to it all that I didn't know.

A few years later, when I was with the second purple taurus (my first relationship), I had this dream, shortly after gettin out the hospital for the...car "accident." In the dream I was in the Barton Creek mall, where I had got my locs started. Me, him, and his mom and little brother entered the mall thru the top floor of the JCPenney like usual, where the salon was, and we were walkin straight to get to the rest of the mall. We were almost out of JCPenney, and suddenly I felt this intense feeling all around me, like someone was calling my name but wasn't sayin anything; not even my name, but my exact energy was so powerfully being called upon—as if whatever was calling me knew all of me so thoroughly and completely. I was stunned and stopped in my tracks while the other three kept walking. I turned around to see what it could be, and there on the right in between some shirt racks was the Hindu deity Krishna, with a pale yellow glowing light around him. He was looking at me as though...as though this was all humorous to him. His smile felt as though he was laughing, not mischievously, but playfully. Childlike almost. Like it was fun for him to have gotten my attention as he intended. When I saw him, he was playing a flute, but I couldn't hear a thing he was playing. There was no sound coming from it. I took a step closer to see if I'd hear him better, but I didn't. It was absolutely silent. And the whole time, he had that innocent, fun energy of enjoyment. Like every second and moment was fun to him. But with no ill intent whatsoever, just his powerful and strong inner light. And purity. And I don't know how else to put this, but although the whole time his eyes were looking to the upper left, I Know he was looking me directly in my eyes. He is one of the dream occurrences that felt realer than waking life.

I woke up and was absolutely stumped. What could he have been playing on his flute? I immediately looked up what song Krishna plays. And I found that no one can hear what he plays with his flute, except for his luhver Radha. I was so fuhkin astounded. I had no way of knowing that. I didn't even know that until I looked it up right then. How could I have known that?? I didn't, but still experienced it. And it made me wonder if it was actually him. What was I being told or shown? And what made him choose to visit me? I was in awe for the next few days from that, and kept thinking of the dreams I'd had where I was a little girl in India. It was just...so real. I can still see it in my mind, like a vivid memory. This dream has been poppin up in my mind frequently lately.